A big flaw of mine is I’m distrustful of the things I hear. I need to read about something myself to believe it, not just take someone’s word for it. I think it can be a good quality to question things, but sometimes it causes issues to be so distrustful of everyone. Either way, if you’re like me and need more information, I’ve got you covered.
Life has been stressful for our family for quite some time. I noticed I’d get caught up on so many things I couldn’t change or had no control over, and that only made my mental health worse. I researched a lot of information on what I could physically control and do to help my mind stay kind. I’ll be tagging information for these simple daily habits that helped me start on my path toward a healthy mind and body.
Hot Lemon Water
This is particularly my favorite of the four habits I’ve developed. I am no stranger to little and broken sleep. My son is almost 3.5 years old and he still doesn’t sleep through the night. When he was an infant, he would sleep in 45 minute spurts day and night, so that’s what I did, too. I was a wreck. I don’t do well with little sleep. It affects every aspect of my day. My mental health, my physical health.
Awhile ago I wrote an article about gut health and infertility, but gut health affects more than infertility. I recently went through some health issues with my stomach, and learned from my doctor how closely related our brains are to our guts. Have you ever had an anxious stomach? Butterflies with a crush or loved one? These things happen without thinking about them. So imagine your mind in a really bad place. What’s going on with your stomach?
Each morning, I drink hot water with a lemon slice and dash of local honey. The first thing you put in your body should nourish it. Water, of course, is the best way to hydrate (versus coffee for a very tired mama), but lemon jumpstarts the digestive system, starting your gut off on the right track first thing in the morning. I do have my cup of morning coffee after this, but knowing I’m giving my body a healthy beverage first sets my day up for success.
Writing Lists
Another wonderful trait of being me is overthinking. I am always steps ahead, planning, organizing, and sometimes stressing. I have to consciously slow down to enjoy the moment at times because my brain is always saying, “Well, you could be planning this, and don’t forget about what you need for this, and research this for later.” It gets exhausting. I lay my head down on my pillow at night and have to go through a bunch of items in my head before I can even settle into sleep.
That being said, I’ve started creating lists. Very specific lists for me, such as “Home,” “Groceries,” “Kids,” “Christmas,” “To-Do,” “Blog Topics,” “Dinners,” and the list goes on. I have sublists in each list (ex. my dinner ideas have sublists of ingredients to get at the store) because all of this swims around my head far too often so writing it down is a lifesaver. It’s like a brain dump into my phone to allow myself to think straight and stop worrying. Worrying is a speciality of mine that leads me down a bad path toward anxiety. Writing lists and keeping organized alleviates a lot of this unnecessary stress.
Some benefits of writing lists, besides keeping organized, are giving ourselves gentle reminders, maintaining structure with our thoughts, and self-accomplishment.
Deep Breathing
Circling back to not sleeping, I become very reactive when I’m exhausted. I’m not proud of this, but I recognize it and I work toward being better every day. Old habits are very hard to break. Anyway, yelling is something I’d do automatically, which is actually something I despise, so I needed to figure out a way to replace that reaction with a different one. I chose to research deep breathing, and my best friend, who also happens to be a doctor, recommended the Wim Hoff method.
I can’t speak for that method yet, but I can tell you that replacing shouting with simply closing my eyes and taking 3-4 slow, deep breaths dramatically shifts my mood. Instead of the boiling anger I so easily can achieve, I focus on my body. My lungs filling with air, my heart rate slowing. In and out. Being angry seems silly at that point.
I not only choose to do this when I’m feeling angry, but first thing when I wake up. I make sure to sit up, stretch, and then close my eyes and breathe for a minute or two before getting up. The benefits of deep breathing are innumerable, but lowering heart rate and blood pressure are among the top.
Deep breathing also activates the vagus nerve, which is like the boss of the parasympathetic nervous system, overseeing things like mood, digestion, and heart rate. It will also send more oxygen to your brain and other organs.
Theodora Blanchfield, AMFT : source
Quiet Time
Lastly, we should discuss silence. In a world so full of noise, seeking those moments of quiet are very important for our health. I can get quite overstimulated with my kids all the time (why do they talk so much?) which makes me feel out of control and unable to think straight. Seeking quiet time for me is such a pleasant time. It’s the one time I generally don’t overthink or stress, but just rest.
Being mindful is beneficial for managing stress and anxiety, but silence allows us to simply align our thoughts in order to really rest our minds and refresh. Sometimes the silence leads me toward wanting to accomplish a goal, usually a creative goal, because I’m unbothered by everything else and simply focusing on myself. It’s important to give our minds a rest from overstimulation. Seeking out as much time as you can fit reasonably into your daily schedule will allow for that mental reset to feel refreshed for the tasks ahead.
I always tell myself that one day, when both my children sleep through the night, and I’ve caught up enough on my own sleep to feel human, I’ll wake before my kids. This is when I’ll practice longer mindfulness activities. Yoga, my lemon water AND a cup of coffee before they wake, and maybe even breakfast (ambitious, I know). The thought of that is a lovely one. I used to enjoy mornings very much, but sleep is something I cannot sacrifice for the sake of an hour of quiet time. Instead, in this season, I find quiet time in the afternoons during nap. I find time after school to workout. I work on the things I can when I can to get me through this time.
That’s the point of this all: maintaining what is within my control.
My days will change as my children grow. Taking one step at a time is the most important thing for me to remember.
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