The In-Between Places

Waiting for something you’re working toward can feel like purgatory. It’s so easy to get stuck in a rut, convinced that nothing will change or that you’ll never reach your goal. A heavy burden often rests on your shoulders, far more often than you’d like to admit.

I say frequently, and believe in, romanticizing the small stuff. It’s all too easy to lose sight of the blessings we have in front of us. That doesn’t mean there’s never a struggle. Being in-between places — where you are and where you’re going — doesn’t mean you aren’t okay. It doesn’t mean there isn’t enjoyment in the little moments.

I don’t say this to remind you, but to remind myself. Wanting something so badly can really blind me from the things I have. There are days I’m so exhausted with the wait — with the hard work — I forget to look around and appreciate what I have and where I am.

If any of this sounds like you, here are some mindfulness tips and tricks I’ve started using to ground myself.

examine the world around you

Imagine for a moment the sun beaming through the window after days or weeks of gray. You stand in it and close your eyes. All sound goes away except the slow intake and exhale of your own breath. Your face is warmed from the light spilling through the glass. There — right there. The moment of the in-between. The pause and the stillness. Do you feel it?

What do you feel when you close your eyes? Smell? Hear? Finding moments when your brain feels fuzzy from the endless thoughts bouncing around can be helpful. These are the times your body is telling you to take a moment.

examine yourself

What is your body doing? How does it feel? Physically, you’re sitting–standing. Does it feel heavy today? Would walking around help? I work a desk job. I sit a lot. Often, I’d find myself complaining that I didn’t move enough. The afternoon slump would take over my brain and body. So I listened to what my body was saying — move. In reality, it wanted to rest. To nap. To stop thinking. When I researched what that could mean, I discovered that I was reaching for the extra caffeine or aching for a nap when I needed to move and drink water. I needed to make different choices to heal my brain and body.

I am not a gym-goer, but I do enjoy moving my body. I have an Apple Watch to track my movement throughout the day. I set an achievable goal to reach each day so I feel good about the movement my body has done. This helps, too, when I move double to triple the amount of my goal on some days.

say affirmations

What are the things you believe about yourself? What are the things you want to believe about yourself? Say them. Over and over if you have to. Write them down and put them somewhere you’ll see them.

I vowed when I had my daughter that I wouldn’t simply tell her she was beautiful. She is. The most beautiful little thing I’ve ever seen. And as each year passes, I find her more beautiful. But it’s not because of her looks, it’s because of who she is. I tell her she is brave, she is capable, she is smart, she is creative, and the list goes on. I tell her because I want her inner voice to say those things. Doubt creeps into each and every one of us, but I didn’t want that for her. I wanted so much more.

So do the same thing for yourself that you’d do for your little girl.

be thankful

Pick 3 things you’re thankful for, even if they’re small. Maybe you’re thankful you woke up in a warm home. Or you’re thankful for your job. Thankful you could put food on the table or thankful the sun came out today.

Reminding yourself of what you’re thankful for is important for keeping focus on the present. So often, and I’m very guilty of this, we look to the future and the things we don’t have. We miss our “right here, right now.”

keep focus

Naming goals I want to achieve and repeating them so I don’t forget is really helpful for me. It gives me direction and keeps me focused on them. It gives me purpose. Right now, for example, I am saving up to buy a house. Not only is this a huge goal, but it takes time and a lot of discipline and hard work. This can ruin my mindset in a lot of ways, so to keep focused, I look at my growing savings. I check the market every day. I gather information, because for my brain, having the information makes me feel prepared, thus focused.

The way you keep focus may be completely different than me. Maybe your scope is smaller, like tracking the amount of steps you take in a day if your goal is to move more. Making sure the dishes are cleaned up right after dinner so your focus of family time is ready and available each night before bed. Whatever your focus, continue to find ways to remind yourself.


Finding yourself in the in-between might be lonely. It might be scary. The unknown usually is. But what if–what if–the in-between is exactly where we live? What if the in-between isn’t where we wait, but where we grow? Where we thrive?

Redefining what the in-between places mean to you might shed some light on an otherwise dark space in your mind. Maybe the in-between is exactly where all of us are meant to be.

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