The sun was hitting my left ear the entire hour drive to work. It sat so low and its trajectory was so straight. The way it hit the trees was different, though the leaves were still quite green.
Yes. It’s time for the season change.
I could tell the leaves were just bursting with excitement at the change ahead, perhaps wondering what color they were going to be. It felt special to me, feeling the change in the air.
We’re headed into the season of slowing down.
Of course, I do know that we don’t get to slow down in many ways. This is what makes living intentionally a lot of fun. We can choose which ways we want to slow down. We can choose which ways we want to show up for ourselves.
Here are a few ways I am choosing to show up for myself and my family and how I am slowing down in my way.
early morning coffee
My son is the first riser, usually ten minutes before my 5:45am alarm. He doesn’t say a word anymore when he comes in, just gently touches my foot and we walk silently to the kitchen together.
He knows slow. He knows I make coffee. He grabs a banana and a yogurt smoothie and we sit together at the kitchen table. Sometimes we talk. Sometimes we play Uno. Sometimes we just enjoy each other’s company.
Seeing a six-year-old behave this way is something I cherish. His body knows this rhythm. He is content. We do this in all seasons, but there’s something special about the way the mornings are darker. About how we don’t miss the sunrise anymore. About how we may grab a blanket to wrap around us while we sit, like the change is just part of us and we adapt willingly.
organizing schedules
My daughter has entered the era of nightly homework. When I learned this, I felt overwhelmed. How am I going to give her that consistent attention when our nights already feel so rushed?
Compromise. Schedules.
I wrote down schedules for each child after school/work. This is what we do so I can give you both attention, so we can sit together and have dinner, which is high priority for me, and have time to enjoy ourselves and decompress before bed.
I gave my daughter an extra half hour after her brother goes to sleep. She feels special. Older. It’s her rite of passage now that she’s almost nine-years-old. And then I can read to my son, just the two of us. Fill his cup. Settle him in before doing the same for my daughter.
This is how I continue to show up for them in the ways that matter most to me.
No Extracurriculars
I had originally signed both my kids up for an extracurricular, but the time constraints were stressful, the cost was stressful, and it was adding so much more to our schedules. I knew I wouldn’t be able to slow down.
I’m not sure what we are supposed to think as parents. Perhaps we have that guilt of wanting to give our kids a taste of everything. To support them and their passions and make sure they’re full and happy and know a lot.
But you know what? There’s a free art club my daughter, who is extremely passionate about creating, can join. My son wants to join the early morning Get Fit club once a week at his school. This doesn’t change our schedule. This doesn’t cost extra money. This supports both kids in what they are interested in and still offers us those slower evenings.
I think we often look through things with the wrong lens. More is not better. It’s certainly something I learned when I stayed home with my babies. It’s also something I learned this summer. We had wanted to give them a great summer packed with fun, but we ended up simply spending the weekends at the beach. The kids only needed some water and sand.
My son recently showed an interest in learning piano. I’ve known for years he is musically inclined, and since I played piano, I figured why not teach him myself? Now it’s part of our evening schedule.
For quite some time, I have felt immensely guilty that I have been showing up for my children in different ways than I used to. I work now. My attention is split between them and work. It used to be just them.
But as I have been healing and evolving and accepting the way things are, I have come to realize that I can still show up for them exactly how I want to. I just have to choose how that will look now and make sure I slow down enough to follow through.
What are some ways you like to show up for your family? For yourself?
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